Subjectless

I apologize  for the change on the language, but there are some things, some feelings, that I prefer to express in English.
I do not know what to write today.
I'm feeling sad. Maybe some type of depression.

Every time I think about things, about what's going on in my life, I have to fight the tears that wet my eyes.

Yesterday another dream of mine was crushed. Smashed into the ground. A dream I have had for at least 4 years. A dream that made me begin a plan, learn a different language, play with the possibility of living my life in a place where I could be free. Free of my family, free of all the boundaries I deal here.
But, as I said before, it was smashed!
I fighting very hard right know not to cry. I can't cry right know. I'm at work. And an employee is sitting almost in front of me.
I wish I could cry.

I don't know what lies ahead and I'm not sure I wanna know. I don't know if it is going to be worth the sacrifice. I'm getting tired of all this.
I wish I were different.

I am sorry if you are reading this.

I don't know how to continue...